heyhey(:
I'm back from nowhere.Been so busy slacking in the day and roaming aimlessly online at night.So, recently a lot of people have been ringing bells in my head.No. Not wedding bells.That will have to ring later in life when I've got the money and the mental capacity of a wife okae.hehThese bells are just random bells that have not rung for quite some time.These are the chimes to those bells,"Maybe later, 5 years maybe.""Ouh, I just need to do something.""It's just the right thing to do now.""I really want it too, but it's not the right time.""I don't want to make a decision now.""YES I can do it."Scared? Maybe.Doubtful? Sort of.Happy? Deep inside.Angry? Surfacing.It's weird.All these feelings.Jumbled up into one.Like when you bake a cake, here you are trying to mix all the ingredients together.AND.woohoo!It's coming well together.That's a scary thing actually.All the individual feelings coming together to become one.All the best.And to remind myself.If I don't get it this time, I'm so getting the other one the next time!Not forgetting,All the best to the athletes of Team Singapore that is participating in the 2009 Singapore Asian Youth Games.and don't forget to have fun(:you're still flipping too fast.
the crayons are still trying to colour you nicely
Loves,
Su.Hai.Lah
I've not been a huge fan of the late King of Popbut I still feel something missing.When my mom woke me up Friday morning with,"Michael Jackson da mati.Michael Jackson da mati!"I thought she was joking.For one thing, who would wake people up by telling you someone died?And the second thing, she sounded HAPPY!haha!Someone died and she's happy?pfft...My mom's weird.Okae so she isn't a huge MJ fan either but hello!Someone just died here!Moral of the story: My mom is weird.And ouh.It's just weird not to have MJ around anymore.Okaeokae.I don't know him personally, so why should i feel that way right?I dunno...I just feel that he is still somewhere around us lingering...That's a bit scary.It's like his soul is still hanging around us but really,he will be missed.Music never sounded so empty before.Ouh!Congrats to the first Malay General in SAF.I forgot his name but I think its General Ishak or something.I'm truly proud of you.Go Go Go Sir!May you have fun(:*actually I just don't know what to say to him if I met him but oh wellsss...*
And this crayon loves her colouring book.
But how come the colouring book keeps flipping away?
Loves,
Su.Hai.Lah
I typed a ferociously angry and emotional entry.But i decided to delete it all away,and start it all with...My mom says,"Men are STUPID!"Okaeokae.So that is damn feminist.But I've got my reasons okae.Was talking to my gurlfren, Lin, on the phone and my mom eavesdropped.And we reached to this conclusion.Ouh wells...Not all men are stupid.Just oblivious.pfftThink people.We can't keep on telling you what we think.?!Do the work YOURSELF!~And ouh.!TELL me okae.I don't like it if I get to know about it from some other source.PFFT!~I don't feel I'm part of it anymore.Officially I'm angry at YOU.But I don't think you'll know about it.Or rather, I don't think you'll get WHY I am pissed.There's always a reason why I should be angry at you.I try not to.I try to put it aside.But I simply can't.Maybe I'm being petty.pfft.I'm just being a girl.A TYPICAL GIRL.go figure it out.Loves,Su.Hai.Lahand you're always too busy
I can't stand people who complain.
Okaeokae.
So it's a bit harsh, but really...
Some people just talk and talk and talk and talk
but they don't think!
Have people ever thought about the other side to the argument?
About why the holidays will not be extended?
Or why their code numbers are as such?
Or why there are only 2 queues at the fast food chain???
GOSH!
StopAndThink PEOPLE!
DON'T JUST YAKYAKYAK NONSTOP!
Please don't be typical.
You complain nonstop and blame others but you don't find the solutions to these problems.
I am sick and tired of hearing all these.
GOSH!!!
GET A LIFE PEOPLE!
okaeokae.
I'm angry.
Or rather, I was angry.
Now I'm not.
Now, I'm just finding peace.
LOL!
PEACE??
nah.
So finally, I think I miss school.
I miss studying because now, I'm bored to death.
My days are filled with nothing much except,
do the dishes,
vacumm the house,
read the papers,
watch cartoons,
nap,
eat.
FYI, I have already found a job. I think.
So that allows me to just rot at home and not do any job search.
Why am I not working you may ask?
I am not working YET cause my employers do not need me YET.
So I am just patiently waiting for them to need me.
Meanwhile, I shall just be a couch potato and spend time with beloved Krokodil while my mom complains that I am the 20 year-old who does not know how to cook but just rots and watch TV.
Well, I love being me(:
And officially,
I'm still sulking.
Go figure me out.
All the best.
Loves,
Su.Hai.Lah.
So.As you can see from the title, I'm NOT finished typing my entry yet.Aper punye malfunction.Orang blom abes criter, dier suker2 post entry...pfft!~Basically,I'm in need of some action.I'm B.O.R.E.D.Haven't started baking yet.Will start soon.I'm B.R.O.K.E.But that's not new.I'm becoming a bit more cranky that I should be.
Because of the all the stuffy air I guess.
And to tell you the truth,
I'm not expecting much from YOU.
I'll find my own entertainment.
You don't have to bother.
Officially, I'm ANGRY
Let's see what you can do to make it all better.
39.1 degree Celcius.
That was my temperature on the 17th of June.
Yes yes.
I was sick the day after I went out.
I got home coughing and I thought it was just a normal cough.
But nonono...
Woke up the next morning sweltering hot!
Gosh!
I suffered the whole day!
Body aches, shivers, cough, flu.
What more could I ask for?
Went to the doctor's the next day and found out I've got a throat infection.
My mom nearly panicked I tell you.
Blasted me with a whole load of,
"Where did you go to the other day?"
Paranoid.H1N1 flu.
Nahhhh
Just caught some random bug and passed it to my brother.
One week later and I'm still coughing.
pfft!~
geroffme bug!
coughing sucks big time!
Stuck at home for one whole week!~
I need to get out.
LIN!!!
Let's do yogaaa!~
okae okae,i HATE cicaks a.k.a. lizards. FULL STOP!so hate might be an exxageration but ouh gosh!i would LOVE to AVOID cicaks!I camped overnight at ECP on the weekend...so i slept in a tent. Or rather, i napped in the tent.Woke up every hour coz of mozzies and when i wake up, i will hear this..."tsk tsk tsk tskkkkkk...", the lizards said.so i ignored the irritating sounds and feeling that it will fall on my already mosquito-bitten face...pfft...so my day went normal until my mom said when i reached home,"just now, while clearing out the tents, we saw a lizard in our tent.Luckily you weren't there."MAMPOS!naseb da jalan!so that's the end of my cicak storyyyyy....n sooooo....let me officially begin with congratulatingSP Silat Club for their performance during theNTU Tertiary Silat Competition 2009!~yeay!*claphandsclaphands*and CONGRATULATIONS to the 3 SPSC medalists,Uzair, Syafiqah and Iswandifor their medals!
woohoo!!!everyone made SP proud!and i mean EVERYONE!!!!!BAEK SP ATHLETES!BAEK SP SUPPORTERS!BAEK SUMEEEEEE!!!and........
Happy 20th Month dear(:or rather,20 months 1 day...heheThanks for the lovely walkabout along Singapore River.That was romantic and though it was a wee bit painful coz of the heels, I had fun with you(:and that's the best thing i could ask for..besides presents for my birthday. i don't care.This year I nk present jgk!hehe....so here comes the emo part...heh...(bear with it. If not, just skip this part okae.)Thank you for everything.For holding on to everything even when things seem to be falling apart.For wanting to always take the hardest way out so we both can hurt ourselves but learn from it.For always being my light when its the darkest of all times.For being someone whom I can depend to fight with.For becoming someone whom I can depend on to pull me up.For teaching me the meaning of patience, love, understanding and perseverance.For becoming my pillar of strenght.For tolerating ALL my nonsense.For being you.Thank you(:Iloveyou.There's so much more to be said but too little have been said.Once again, thank you Sayang for always standing by me.<3suhailahlovesmuhd.fahmihussaini<3ps: This should have been my last night with Krokodil.
But fate had other plans tonight(:
n ouh!
i heard Laskar Pelangi and it made me remember how much i miss you guys in sch.
Esp Ahlina, Syak, Rohani coz i heard your song.
and i miss the rest too(:
so I'm back after a short while.I lost my enthusiasm back then and now it's back,in a more...hrmm...depressing manner, I shall say.Let's just say: "It's been delayed to another couple of weeks."That's my official answer to the question of: "So Su, have you gotten your job yet?"Yes yes.Confirmation to my application have been delayed to another couple of weeks.I'm getting more restless and less confident as the days go by.Am-I-in-am-i-not question is still not answered, but postponed.I'm scared.I've been pinning my hopes on this particular job application.I know it's gonna be tough but heyhey, what's life without it's obstacle right?That job will just be a miniature life course to me,so why not just go through it with much enthusiasm right?Yeayness!But it's been postponed so enthusiasm is channelled to restlessness and major boredom.Shall just fill my time with baking i guess.Happiness starting to fill me up(:Like I said before, I don't adore changes nor do I embrace them.But it IS a fact of life that I've got to live with.Changes have always made me uncomfortable.Changes should always be subtle, a factor that not many choose to make the transition easier for people around them.Changes should always be for YOURSELF and NOT for OTHERS.and you should NEVER force others to change when they are not ready to.Trust me in this.Though I'm no expert, I'm just someone who observes(:Loves,
Su.Hai.Lah
okae okae.I guess I haven't been a good person.Mebbe to some, I am a good person but to others, who knows right?Oh wells.I'm just being myself and if you don't like it, too bad.Cause I like me.Change is one thing I don't like.Yeahyeah.Changing for the better is something everyone can live with,but for me...i guess it's all just too freaky for me.Or rather too much to handle.I've always seen myself as someone who can adapt easily to situations,but if I can avoid something, changing would be it.so what is the term for 'fear of change'?anyoneee???i guess that's it for now.might be back later with the same topic.
Loves,
Su.Hai.Lah
people have their own level of patience...mebbe I've reached mine a long time ago...but since I've kept silent all these while, it shows that I still have the patience in me...hrmm...I shall just smile while I can(:Sometimes I just can't stand all the feeling I have sucked in me but I just got to keep going coz of the people around me...Yar yar, it's my life and I can't just keep it in coz its gonna eat me alive...but sucking it in makes people happy...making people happy makes me happy...i guess................Hypocrisy is killing me...but ouh wells...isn't it part of life?gotta live with it but I'll just minus it out of my activities...smile Su smile(: (: (:I've been bored these few days...
stuck at home watching recorded tapes of old P. Ramlee and Hindustan movies...so you get the gist of my life....its a capital BORING for me...Ouh wells...what to do...I'm still waiting for the job offer to come my way and till then i shall continue rotting...n ouh recuperate for next Sunday for TSC finals...if our SPSC pesilat continues to the finals, InsyaAllah(:so about TSC,SPSC still has a couple of pesilats left...GOGOGO SP!Though some lost their fights, they put up a great one...one match that I can't forget will be Afiq n Zulhan's match...Afiq, SPSC's beloved Matrep lost but GOSH!!!I've never seen his face like that...muker Matrep Fighter btol!I LOIKEEEE!n as for Zulhan's match,he put up a great fight, never losing his temper with his opponent.n Adilla dear,if I were you,I'd act the same way as you...heh...I totally get what you feel babe..mebbe I wud haf jumped into the gelanggang or walked away and beat myself up but we both noe its not necessary...haha...Su memang melampau org dier so don't haf to worry about me...Babe, he's okae so don't have to worry about him yar(:n psstpsst, this is why i don't let *him<3> join silat...heh
I wud'nt turn down a fighter for a boyfie but my boyfie to turn a fighter is a bit too much to handle...
haha!
I've always been protective of the people around me...
and I can get rather physical too but I've toned down since I'm a girl u noe.
pfft!
girl or what??!
so back to the story, I'll always and have always stepped in to put myself in front of the people..
u noe, like get them out of harm's way but oh wells...I'm not so much of a hero if I'm afraid of gore and all that right???
mebbe coz I'm the eldest in the family...
sooooooo..it doesn't matter much does it?
having a bodyguard wudn't make things anymore different would it?
My ego, the size of an average male, wudn't want to let go of the independence...
Though i wud looooooooove for sumone to step in front of a full speed train for me, I wud end up pushing the person away instead(:
haha
so i miss u lots lots
hope that u can put ur arms around my waist and won't ever let me go.
but we noe its not going to happen.
As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
I'll always be here waiting.
waiting for u to come back(:
ily dearest<3
Loves
Su.Hai.Lah
Let me start off with something i really believe in when it comes to relationships..."Any two people in love should always be together."- Su.Hai.Lahbut heh...who am I to say about all that right?people are together for many reasons...well..come on...im a typical, simple girl...i used to think that love makes the world go round..but now,i dont think so...love just glues the world together...The only thing that makes us feel wanted and...hmm...united i guess..But wassup with all these talk right?
haha!
so lets get back to reality...
Su, come back down to Earthhhhh!~
so let's see...
went to NTU on Friday for Tertiary Silat Competition...
i miss silat..
or rather being in action...
representing the school la katernyer..
dpt jacket oiii....
hahaksz...
okae okae...
Im not entering TSC just coz of the jacket but its the experience...
2 years in the comp, though in the same category, it's such an unforgettable experience(:
and talking bout category...
i failed to get a class in Silat...pfft!
freaking underweight to be in the category...
but come to think of it again right,
im not fit for the category...
saw one match, and if i was in it,
i'll be 'Gone with the Wind!~'
so ill just say thank you muchmuch and ill see u later alligator(:
ouh God...
can i pleasepleaseplease with a cherry on top and loads2 of love
get the result ive been waiting for now so i cn get rid of the anxietyyyyy?
i wanna bake next week...
fudge brownies(:
n i want a new phoneeeee
not that i dun nid my lovely phone anymore..
but you shud see the new Nokia5730!!!!
bought a pair of shoes, a Dickies backpack and loads of food...
shall try it out tmr and woohoooooo!
check out the scenery at NTU tmrrrr!
*winks(;*
Loves, Su.Hai.Lah
so let's see...will be off to NTU later for annual Tertiary Silat Competition Openingbut one BIG problem... NO IDEA what to wear!!!okae so colour code red...shall ransack my closet later...pfft!~n ouh...another thing...NTU is effin FAAAAAARRRR!!~its like at the other end of the world seyyyyWas so thankful that last year's IVP was at RP..close to home...at NYP 3 yrs ago..also close to home...was at NUS 2 yrs ago..at least there was a bus...pfft...so now i need a chauffeur...any volunteers??hehe...shall be back later tonight.so will be looking out for hot stuff(:tata...Su.Hai.Lah
you believe in that?at least i do...Life works in a way NOONE can ever understand...its so unpredictable..filled with ups and down..pfft!~It's SOOOO CLICHE Su....great way to start a new blog...so yar...talking bout a new blog,my old blog, the ever so setia (loyal) blog is non functional a looooong time ago....was only clever enough to think that there was actually a problem while chatting with Faz online just now...pfft!~airhead or what?i'm getting more lightheaded by the day...no more brain mass or brain cells to hold my head down...I have finally graduated from SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC!~woohooo!!!So i owe loads of people a graduation farewell and a blogpost dedicated to thanking people..but i shall NOT do that now coz i shall concentrate on the joy and excitement i have for my new blog(:This time the URL is wayyyyy longer but at least the spelling of ILLUSION is RIGHT this time..heh... (;i shall make this blog a more hip and happening blog...better than my last one..but don't be afraid...i won't shut down my last one (crazyillussion.blogspot.com)...loads of memories have been there..so it shall be my journey...Don't think i have avid followers of my blog cause of the LOOOOOOOONG unintentional hiatus i alway have buttttttt....no sweat...no readers? its okae...its just a channel and a source of entertainment for myself...no biggie(:so i shall be back...dun miss me(:muackszSu.Hai.Lah
here to breathe some air people!~
woohoo!!!
Happy 20th Month dear(: